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(703) 444-0662 Hours 21620 RIDGETOP CIRCLE STE 150, STERLING, VA 20166
(703) 444-0662 Hours 21620 RIDGETOP CIRCLE STE 150, STERLING, VA 20166

Are Your Beliefs A Roadblock To Your Goals?

“It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.” -Mark Twain

If I asked you, “Did you know that Australia is a continent?” then you’d most likely answer “yes” with ease.  

What if I asked you this: “How do you know Australia is a continent?” I’d wager most of us would struggle more with that question. Maybe you learned it from an elementary school teacher, or the internet, or a textbook. We’d probably struggle to remember exactly where this information was learned—information that most of us would say we “know”.

You might be thinking, “So what? Who cares if we don’t know where this belief that Australia is a continent came from?

That’s fair. You’d probably get through life just fine not knowing Australia was a continent; well, unless you got asked that for a double Jeopardy question. But, this concept of understanding how we know what we know matters with regard to other beliefs.

When we don’t know how we came to know something, then should we put much faith in it? What if we learned something from The Onion and formed a strong belief from it? Well, then we’d go around acting on a belief that is untrue.

We can all likely think of a situation in which we claimed to know something—to really know it—but it turned out to be false.

Maybe you knew that running was the best way to burn body fat, only to find out it wasn’t the whole story; there were pieces to that puzzle you didn’t see. Thus, you didn’t see the results you wanted.

is running best for burning body fat?

Or, maybe you knew carbs were bad for you as the media has said, and you learned that wasn’t accurate either.  

 

Fitness Beliefs

Think about other fitness beliefs:

  • squats are bad for your knees;
  • your weak core is causing your back pain; or
  • strength training will make women bulky.

When we have strong beliefs, whether we are conscious of them or not, they influence how we act.  

Look at deadlifts for example. When we deadlift, we want to maintain a tall and tight position—our spine shouldn’t be rounded or extended. Well, what if someone came to believe the opposite? They believed that deadlifting with a rounded back was the most effective way to lift. It might be okay at first, but they could end up hurting themselves too.

In other examples, we may just waste our time trying things that weren’t destined to work at all—but we believed they would, so we kept doing those things.

False beliefs become a roadblock to our goals. What we thought was moving us toward our goals actually put us on a path heading in the other direction.

To better illustrate this idea, let’s listen in on the conversation of a married couple, Jeff and Lara, while they have dinner.   

 

Jeff and Lara’s Dinner

Every night, Jeff and Lara sit down for dinner together. They alternate who makes dinner each night and tonight was Jeff’s night. The meal he prepared was buffalo chicken salad. As Jeff sits down after setting the plates on the table, he looks up, and notices Lara looks upset.

Jeff asks Lara if something was wrong, and she says, “Oh, it’s nothing.” Jeff, sensing there was more to it asked again. This time, Lara says, “Well, it’s just that I miss carbs so much. I love what you made tonight, don’t get me wrong, but this low carb diet has been so tough!”

She pauses, and says, “But I know it’s what I need to do to lose this belly fat!”

Curious, because of how certain Lara said that, Jeff asks, “How do you know a low carb diet is what you need to follow?” Lara looked at Jeff, surprised, and didn’t know what to say. She hadn’t expected that question. Lara felt doubtful. She then attempted to list a few reasons—only, she wasn’t even convincing herself at that point.

What Lara realized is that she didn’t really have much reason to believe cutting carbs would help her lose fat—but she thought she did. She couldn’t remember where she read it, maybe a blog, maybe a book, but now she was less certain. But it seemed right. What Lara was experiencing is what can be referred to as the Unread Library Effect (1).  

 

The Unread Library Effect

books in a library

Think about the library of human knowledge for a moment—the collection of all that we know as humans; what we know from books, the internet, wherever. Humans have a tendency, because we have access to information, to believe we know something without truly knowing it.

It’s as if we have checked out a cart full of books from the library, but we have yet to read them—let alone have studied some of these topics in depth.

Jeff asked Lara how she knew eliminating carbs was the key to her fat loss, and she wasn’t sure what to say; Lara experienced the Unread Library Effect. In her mind, she knew that eliminating carbs was the answer, but now she was doubting if it was. This is crucial.

She believed something, knew it for certain even—in her mind at least—yet, she really didn’t have reason to hold onto that belief so strongly. None. Nada. Zilch. Lara couldn’t remember where she had read that information, who wrote about it and what their credibility was, or even when she read it.

Sometimes we form beliefs too easily like Lara did here.

Here’s why this matters: Lara was forcing herself to do something she hated. She loved carbs. But her mind was captured by this idea that eliminating carbs was the ONLY way to lose fat. She was tunneling on that. And, when in a tunnel, the only way is forward. She didn’t see the options that existed outside the tunnel.

Inside the tunnel: fat loss is achieved through eliminating carbs.

Outside the tunnel: any other helpful alternative lifestyle change—like we teach our members at BSP NOVA, for example.

Now, let’s jump back to where we left off with their dinner.

Lara confronts her beliefs

 

Jeff’s Suggestion

The uncertainty Lara was experiencing reminded Jeff of his struggles in the gym. He had tried for months and months to get stronger, but for whatever reason, he was stuck. He realized the program he had found on the internet may not have been that helpful. But, starting out, he knew it was the right one to do. But after months of little progress, eh, he wasn’t so sure.

Then he had the light bulb moment: he could hire a coach!

Remembering how much working with a coach helped him, he said to Lara, “Honey, I have an idea. Since you sound stressed with trying to eliminate carbs, and uncertain if it’s the right approach, what are your thoughts on hiring a coach?” She said, “Um, I don’t know. I hadn’t considered it.

Jeff explained how his coach saved him a lot of trouble trying to learn things on his own. The coach guided Jeff through a process. By meeting a few times a week with the coach, Jeff finally learned what proper form felt like, when he was pushing himself too hard—or too little—and he was able to ask the coach any questions he had; this helped him learn a ton. So, he insisted that a good coach could help her learn the right things to do.

Lara decided to give it a shot.

Lara learned quickly that working with a coach is a collaborative, guided process. Once she started working with the coach, she was learning by doing—by going through the process.

The coach asked her about what’s worked for her in the past, and what she was ready, willing, and able to try now. As she moved along in the process and started making small changes with her nutrition, she was learning what works. Also, she learned what didn’t work for her; for example, low carb diets didn’t put her in the best position to be successful. Over time, she was finally seeing the progress she had hoped for, because she had learned what to do.

 

Could Hiring A Coach Help You?

Short answer: yes. Long answer: yesssss.

Kidding aside, if you’re busting your butt and not seeing the progress you want, then hiring a coach could help.

If you’re struggling with starting at all because you don’t know what to do to make progress, again, hiring a coach could help.

We all want certainty in life, to know that what we are doing is the right thing and help move us towards our goals. None of us, not a single one of us, wants to waste time spinning their wheels when they could do something that actually helps. So, if you’re struggling with what to do to move you towards your goals, or, if you’re uncertain if what you are doing is the best approach, then hiring a coach could be the solution you’re looking for.


Source:
  • How to Have Impossible Conversations
  • Knowledge: A Very Brief Introduction

 

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